Who are true friends?

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Allah has created Human beings and with social nature. We are made into families, groups and nations. Each person around us has a distinctive role and place which reflects our lives. Friends can have a remarkable impact on our lives, which makes it important to make sure, that we choose the right people. Who are true friends?

حَدَّثَنِي مُوسَى بْنُ إِسْمَاعِيلَ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الْوَاحِدِ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بُرْدَةَ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ أَبَا بُرْدَةَ بْنَ أَبِي مُوسَى، عَنْ أَبِيهِ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ “‏ مَثَلُ الْجَلِيسِ الصَّالِحِ وَالْجَلِيسِ السَّوْءِ كَمَثَلِ صَاحِبِ الْمِسْكِ، وَكِيرِ الْحَدَّادِ، لاَ يَعْدَمُكَ مِنْ صَاحِبِ الْمِسْكِ إِمَّا تَشْتَرِيهِ، أَوْ تَجِدُ رِيحَهُ، وَكِيرُ الْحَدَّادِ يُحْرِقُ بَدَنَكَ أَوْ ثَوْبَكَ أَوْ تَجِدُ مِنْهُ رِيحًا خَبِيثَةً ‏“‏‏.‏

Narrated Abu Musa: Allah’s Messengerﷺ said, “The example of a good companion (who sits with you) in comparison with a bad one, is like that of the musk seller and the blacksmith’s bellows (or furnace); from the first you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell while the bellows would either burn your clothes or your house, or you get a bad nasty smell thereof.” (Sahih al-Bukhari 2101, Sahih al-Bukhari 5534)

Friends reflect our family, culture and our behavior. We always like ourselves and our children to interact with good people, but this is not always easy. The evil has more attraction than the good, and children become an easy victim. They can be manipulated easily, since their knowledge of this world is quite obliterated, by technology and media.

            وَاصْبِرْ نَفْسَكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ يَدْعُونَ رَبَّهُم بِالْغَدَاةِ وَالْعَشِيِّ يُرِيدُونَ وَجْهَهُ وَلَا تَعْدُ عَيْنَاكَ عَنْهُمْ تُرِيدُ زِينَةَ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا وَلَا تُطِعْ مَنْ أَغْفَلْنَا قَلْبَهُ عَن ذِكْرِنَا وَاتَّبَعَ هَوَاهُ وَكَانَ أَمْرُهُ فُرُطً

And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them, desiring adornments of the worldly life, and do not obey one whose heart we have made heedless of our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever [in] neglect. (Al Quran Al-Kahf 18:28)

Though it is said that a man is known by his deeds, yet at times the good deeds are spoiled by bad company. Whatever the teachings of parents, the bad company of a person will eventually effect the personality, habits and behavior.

There are certain principles, which can evaluate a friend

1. A true friend
   • Will always bring you close to Allah and the rules specified in Quran and practiced by Prophet Mohammad ﷺ
   • Will never force you to retaliate against your parents, and family members.
   • Will never advise you against your culture and traditions.
2. A true friend will never ask you to compromise your basic principles in the name of friendship.
3. A true friend will inspire you to live up to your best potential, not indulge with any immoral ambitions.
4. He will always be happy with your success.
5. He will always be on your side when you are sad.
6. He will never backbite you, instead he will always keep your integrity when you are not present.
7. He will always appreciates your good deeds and intentions.
8. He will always keep your confidence of trust.

حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ بَشَّارٍ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو عَامِرٍ، وَأَبُو دَاوُدَ قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا زُهَيْرُ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي مُوسَى بْنُ وَرْدَانَ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ “‏ الرَّجُلُ عَلَى دِينِ خَلِيلِهِ فَلْيَنْظُرْ أَحَدُكُمْ مَنْ يُخَالِلُ ‏”‏ ‏.‏

Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophetﷺ said: A man follows the religion of his friend; so each one should consider whom he makes his friend. (Sunan Abi Dawud 4833, “Hasan”-Albani), (Jami-at-Tirmidhi 2378)

It is our responsibility as an individual and as family to take care of ourselves and others around us, protecting from people who are always looking to take advantage, by giving advice which will be harmful in this world and after.

Think again and again who are our friends, and correct ourselves today, don’t be one of those narrated in Al Quran on the day of judgement.

وَيَوْمَ يَعَضُّ الظَّالِمُ عَلَىٰ يَدَيْهِ يَقُولُ يَا لَيْتَنِي اتَّخَذْتُ مَعَ الرَّسُولِ سَبِيلً

يَا وَيْلَتَىٰ لَيْتَنِي لَمْ أَتَّخِذْ فُلَانًا خَلِيلً

And the day the wrongdoer will bite on his hands [in regret] he will say, “Oh, I wish I had taken with the Messenger a way. Oh, woe to me! I wish I had not taken that one as a friend. (Al Quran Al-Furqan 25:27-28)

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