Get rid of Jealousy

Jealousy generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety. (Wikipedia)

How can others have things, which I do not have!

Jealousy is a distinctive experience in human relationships. It is considered as, one of the most destructive emotions, by psychologists as well as a great sin in religions. Usually, it is not a stand-alone emotion, it is accompanied by anger, inadequacy, helplessness, frustration and envy.

Usually it is characterized as reactive emotion bound to some triggers, which create a sense of insecurity and irritation in an individual. These triggers are related to the people and environment. The jealous person is always in a state of constant thinking, of spoiling the image of others, and end up with backbiting and accusations, with immoral consequences.

The origin and one of the best explanation of Jealousy is narrated in the story of Adam and the Devil, narrated in Quran, many times.

وَإِذْ قُلْنَا لِلْمَلَائِكَةِ اسْجُدُوا لِآدَمَ فَسَجَدُوا إِلَّا إِبْلِيسَ أَبَىٰ وَاسْتَكْبَرَ وَكَانَ مِنَ الْكَافِرِينَ

 “And [mention] when we said to the angels, “Prostrate before Adam”; so they prostrated, except for Iblees. He refused and was arrogant and became of the disbelievers.” (Surah Al Baqarah 2:34)

قَالَ أَرَأَيْتَكَ هَٰذَا الَّذِي كَرَّمْتَ عَلَيَّ لَئِنْ أَخَّرْتَنِ إِلَىٰ يَوْمِ الْقِيَامَةِ لَأَحْتَنِكَنَّ ذُرِّيَّتَهُ إِلَّا قَلِيلًا

[Iblees] said, “Do you see this one whom you have honored above me? If you delay me until the Day of Resurrection, I will surely destroy his descendants, except for a few.” (Surah Al Isra 17:62)

Jealousy with other fellow beings, just because of worldly matters, which might be money, position, a big house or anything, is a great sin which can lead to annihilation of good deeds and eventual hell.

حَدَّثَنِي سَعِيدُ بْنُ شُرَحْبِيلَ، حَدَّثَنَا لَيْثٌ، عَنْ يَزِيدَ، عَنْ أَبِي الْخَيْرِ، عَنْ عُقْبَةَ بْنِ عَامِرٍ، أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم خَرَجَ يَوْمًا فَصَلَّى عَلَى أَهْلِ أُحُدٍ صَلاَتَهُ عَلَى الْمَيِّتِ، ثُمَّ انْصَرَفَ إِلَى الْمِنْبَرِ، فَقَالَ ‏ “‏ إِنِّي فَرَطُكُمْ، وَأَنَا شَهِيدٌ عَلَيْكُمْ، إِنِّي وَاللَّهِ لأَنْظُرُ إِلَى حَوْضِي الآنَ، وَإِنِّي قَدْ أُعْطِيتُ خَزَائِنَ مَفَاتِيحِ الأَرْضِ، وَإِنِّي وَاللَّهِ مَا أَخَافُ بَعْدِي أَنْ تُشْرِكُوا، وَلَكِنْ أَخَافُ أَنْ تَنَافَسُوا فِيهَا ‏“‏‏

‏The Prophetﷺ once came out and offered the funeral prayer for the martyrs of Uhud, and proceeded to the pulpit and said, “I shall be your predecessor and a witness on you, and I am really looking at my sacred Fount now, and no doubt, I have been given the keys of the treasures of the world. By Allah, I am not afraid that you will worship others along with Allah, but I am afraid that you will envy and fight one another for worldly fortunes.” (Sahih al-Bukhari 3596)

Jealousy – the positive aspect

Jealousy can be positive, when it does not represent a wish to harm others, but to compare and wish the same for oneself, with intention of Allah^SWT’s bliss.

حَدَّثَنَا الْحُمَيْدِيُّ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي إِسْمَاعِيلُ بْنُ أَبِي خَالِدٍ، عَلَى غَيْرِ مَا حَدَّثَنَاهُ الزُّهْرِيُّ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ قَيْسَ بْنَ أَبِي حَازِمٍ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ عَبْدَ اللَّهِ بْنَ مَسْعُودٍ، قَالَ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ “‏ لاَ حَسَدَ إِلاَّ فِي اثْنَتَيْنِ رَجُلٌ آتَاهُ اللَّهُ مَالاً فَسُلِّطَ عَلَى هَلَكَتِهِ فِي الْحَقِّ، وَرَجُلٌ آتَاهُ اللَّهُ الْحِكْمَةَ، فَهْوَ يَقْضِي بِهَا وَيُعَلِّمُهَا ‏”‏‏.‏

The Prophetﷺ said, “Do not wish to be like anyone except in two cases. (The first is) A person, whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it righteously; (the second is) the one whom Allah has given wisdom (the Holy Qur’an) and he acts according to it and teaches it to others.” (Sahih al-Bukhari 73)

Undeniable trust in Allah

The ultimate way to get ourselves out of a state of jealousy, is to keep our undeniable trust in Allah^SWT. This universe is a unique and inequivalent system, created by Allah^SWT, controlling the minutest of happenings. The eventual aim of everything in this world, is testing the human beings, for rules and regulations, set by Allah^SWT, portrayed by successive line of prophets and revelations.

The eventual purpose is BIG TEST..

Allah has created a system of testing in three ways

1. Giving
2. Not giving
3. Taking back the things given before

The eventual test is “who keeps the trust in Allah^SWT

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا مَن يَرْتَدَّ مِنكُمْ عَن دِينِهِ فَسَوْفَ يَأْتِي اللَّهُ بِقَوْمٍ يُحِبُّهُمْ وَيُحِبُّونَهُ أَذِلَّةٍ عَلَى الْمُؤْمِنِينَ أَعِزَّةٍ عَلَى الْكَافِرِينَ يُجَاهِدُونَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ وَلَا يَخَافُونَ لَوْمَةَ لَائِمٍ ذَٰلِكَ فَضْلُ اللَّهِ يُؤْتِيهِ مَن يَشَاءُ وَاللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ

O you who have believed, whoever of you should revert from his religion – Allah will bring forth [in place of them] a people He will love and who will love Him [who are] humble toward the believers, powerful against the disbelievers; they strive in the cause of Allah and do not fear the blame of a critic. That is the favor of Allah; He bestows it upon whom He wills. And Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing. (Surah Al-Maidah 5:54)

أَهُمْ يَقْسِمُونَ رَحْمَتَ رَبِّكَ نَحْنُ قَسَمْنَا بَيْنَهُم مَّعِيشَتَهُمْ فِي الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا وَرَفَعْنَا بَعْضَهُمْ فَوْقَ بَعْضٍ دَرَجَاتٍ لِّيَتَّخِذَ بَعْضُهُم بَعْضًا سُخْرِيًّا وَرَحْمَتُ رَبِّكَ خَيْرٌ مِّمَّا يَجْمَعُونَ

Do they distribute the mercy of your Lord? It is we who have apportioned among them their livelihood in the life of this world and have raised some of them above others in degrees [of rank] that they may make use of one another for service. But the mercy of your Lord is better than whatever they accumulate. (Surah Az-Zukhruf 43:32)

Prophetﷺ lived an exceptional life, which truly reflects the will of Allah^SWT

حَدَّثَنَا بِشْرُ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ، أَخْبَرَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ، أَخْبَرَنَا مَعْمَرٌ، عَنْ هَمَّامِ بْنِ مُنَبِّهٍ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ “‏ إِيَّاكُمْ وَالظَّنَّ، فَإِنَّ الظَّنَّ أَكْذَبُ الْحَدِيثِ، وَلاَ تَحَسَّسُوا، وَلاَ تَجَسَّسُوا، وَلاَ تَحَاسَدُوا، وَلاَ تَدَابَرُوا، وَلاَ تَبَاغَضُوا، وَكُونُوا عِبَادَ اللَّهِ إِخْوَانًا ‏”‏‏.‏

The Prophetﷺ said, “Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales; and do not look for the others’ faults and do not spy, and do not be jealous of one another, and do not desert (cut your relation with) one another, and do not hate one another; and O Allah’s worshipers! Be brothers (as Allah has ordered you!”) (Sahih Bukhari 6064)

Sabr and Shukr

The ultimate way for keeping ourselves thankful to Allah^SWT is to practice Sabr and Shukr all the time, in every situation.

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اسْتَعِينُوا بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلَاةِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ

O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient. (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:153)

وَاسْتَعِينُوا بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلَاةِ وَإِنَّهَا لَكَبِيرَةٌ إِلَّا عَلَى الْخَاشِعِينَ

And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah] (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:45)

Response if we are put in test by Allah^SWT

حَدَّثَنِي عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الْمَلِكِ بْنُ عَمْرٍو، حَدَّثَنَا زُهَيْرُ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ عَمْرِو بْنِ حَلْحَلَةَ، عَنْ عَطَاءِ بْنِ يَسَارٍ، عَنْ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ الْخُدْرِيِّ، وَعَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ “‏ مَا يُصِيبُ الْمُسْلِمَ مِنْ نَصَبٍ وَلاَ وَصَبٍ وَلاَ هَمٍّ وَلاَ حُزْنٍ وَلاَ أَذًى وَلاَ غَمٍّ حَتَّى الشَّوْكَةِ يُشَاكُهَا، إِلاَّ كَفَّرَ اللَّهُ بِهَا مِنْ خَطَايَاهُ ‏“‏‏.‏

The Prophetﷺ said, “No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that. (Sahih Bukhari 5642)

حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ يُوسُفَ، حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ إِبْرَاهِيمَ التَّيْمِيِّ، عَنِ الْحَارِثِ بْنِ سُوَيْدٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ أَتَيْتُ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فِي مَرَضِهِ وَهْوَ يُوعَكُ وَعْكًا شَدِيدًا، وَقُلْتُ إِنَّكَ لَتُوعَكُ وَعْكًا شَدِيدًا‏.‏ قُلْتُ إِنَّ ذَاكَ بِأَنَّ لَكَ أَجْرَيْنِ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏ “‏ أَجَلْ مَا مِنْ مُسْلِمٍ يُصِيبُهُ أَذًى، إِلاَّ حَاتَّ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ خَطَايَاهُ، كَمَا تَحَاتُّ وَرَقُ الشَّجَرِ ‏“‏‏.‏

I visited the Prophetﷺ during his ailments and he was suffering from a high fever. I said, “You have a high fever. Is it because you will have a double reward for it?” He said, “Yes, for no Muslim is afflicted with any harm but that Allah will remove his sins as the leaves of a tree fall down.” (Sahih Bukhari 5647)

Be Contented

حَدَّثَنَا إِسْمَاعِيلُ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي مَالِكٌ، عَنْ أَبِي الزِّنَادِ، عَنِ الأَعْرَجِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنْ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ “‏ إِذَا نَظَرَ أَحَدُكُمْ إِلَى مَنْ فُضِّلَ عَلَيْهِ فِي الْمَالِ وَالْخَلْقِ، فَلْيَنْظُرْ إِلَى مَنْ هُوَ أَسْفَلَ مِنْهُ ‏”‏‏.‏

Allah’s Messengerﷺ said, “If anyone of you looked at a person who was made superior to him in property and (in good) appearance, then he should also look at the one who is inferior to him. (Sahih Bukhari 6490)

Jealousy is termed as a satanic emotion, it takes away the trust of person from Allah^SWT, and he goes into a never ending path of mental and physical derailment.

Photo by Marco Lastella on Unsplash