Mother – Ultimate Role in Islam

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Islam puts a great emphasis on taking care of our parents. The eminence of parents given by Islam is just one step below the belief in Allah and true worship of Him. The ultimate role of mother in Islam, is explained and emphasized in many verses in Quran and Hadith.

۞وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوٓا۟ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَٰنًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا۞وَٱخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًا

And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.” (Surah Al Isra 17:23-24)

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو الْوَلِيدِ، حَدَّثَنَا شُعْبَةُ، قَالَ الْوَلِيدُ بْنُ عَيْزَارٍ أَخْبَرَنِي قَالَ سَمِعْتُ أَبَا عَمْرٍو الشَّيْبَانِيَّ، يَقُولُ أَخْبَرَنَا صَاحِبُ، هَذِهِ الدَّارِ ـ وَأَوْمَأَ بِيَدِهِ إِلَى دَارِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ـ قَالَ سَأَلْتُ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم أَىُّ الْعَمَلِ أَحَبُّ إِلَى اللَّهِ قَالَ ‏”‏ الصَّلاَةُ عَلَى وَقْتِهَا ‏”‏‏.‏ قَالَ ثُمَّ أَىُّ قَالَ ‏”‏ ثُمَّ بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ ‏”‏‏.‏ قَالَ ثُمَّ أَىّ قَالَ ‏”‏ الْجِهَادُ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ ‏”‏‏.‏ قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي بِهِنَّ وَلَوِ اسْتَزَدْتُهُ لَزَادَنِي•‏

Narrated Al-Walid bin ‘Aizar:

I heard Abi `Amr ‘Ash-Shaibani saying, “The owner of this house.” he pointed to `Abdullah’s house, “said, ‘I asked the Prophetﷺ ‘Which deed is loved most by Allah?” He replied, ‘To offer prayers at their early (very first) stated times.’ “Abdullah asked, “What is the next (in goodness)?” The Prophetﷺ said, “To be good and dutiful to one’s parents,” `Abdullah asked, “What is the next (in goodness)?” The Prophetﷺ said, “To participate in Jihad for Allah’s Cause.” `Abdullah added, “The Prophetﷺ narrated to me these three things, and if I had asked more, he would have told me more.” (Sahih al-Bukhari 5970)

حَدَّثَنَا مُسَدَّدٌ، حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى، عَنْ سُفْيَانَ، وَشُعْبَةَ، قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا حَبِيبٌ، ح قَالَ وَحَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ كَثِيرٍ، أَخْبَرَنَا سُفْيَانُ، عَنْ حَبِيبٍ، عَنْ أَبِي الْعَبَّاسِ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو، قَالَ قَالَ رَجُلٌ لِلنَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم أُجَاهِدُ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏”‏ لَكَ أَبَوَانِ ‏”‏‏.‏ قَالَ نَعَمْ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏”‏ فَفِيهِمَا فَجَاهِدْ• ‏”

‏Narrated `Abdullah bin `Amr:

A man said to the Prophetﷺ, “Shall I participate in Jihad?” The Prophetﷺ said, “Are your parents living?” The man said, “Yes.” the Prophetﷺ said, “Do Jihad for their benefit.” (Sahih al-Bukhari 5972)

Islam has empowered women more than any other religion. Infect, it is Islam that dignified the role of women as mother, as daughter, as sister and as wife. The greatest role is, being a Mother when their contribution is acknowledged the most and admired.

۞وَوَصَّيۡنَا الۡاِنۡسَانَ بِوَالِدَيۡهِ اِحۡسَانًا​ ؕ حَمَلَـتۡهُ اُمُّهٗ كُرۡهًا وَّوَضَعَتۡهُ كُرۡهًا​ ؕ وَحَمۡلُهٗ وَفِصٰلُهٗ ثَلٰـثُوۡنَ شَهۡرًا​ ؕ حَتّٰٓى اِذَا بَلَغَ اَشُدَّهٗ وَبَلَغَ اَرۡبَعِيۡنَ سَنَةً  ۙ قَالَ رَبِّ اَوۡزِعۡنِىۡۤ اَنۡ اَشۡكُرَ نِعۡمَتَكَ الَّتِىۡۤ اَنۡعَمۡتَ عَلَىَّ وَعَلٰى وَالِدَىَّ وَاَنۡ اَعۡمَلَ صَالِحًا تَرۡضٰٮهُ وَاَصۡلِحۡ لِىۡ فِىۡ ذُرِّيَّتِىۡ ؕۚ اِنِّىۡ تُبۡتُ اِلَيۡكَ وَاِنِّىۡ مِنَ الۡمُسۡلِمِيۡنَ

We have enjoined man to be kind to his parents. In pain did his mother bear him and in pain did she give birth to him. The carrying of the child to his weaning is a period of thirty months. And when he is grown to full maturity and reaches the age of forty, he prays: “My Lord, dispose me that I may give thanks for the bounty that You have bestowed upon me and my parents, and dispose me that I may do righteous deeds that would please You, and also make my descendants righteous. I repent to You, and I am one of those who surrender themselves to You.” (Surah Al-Ahqaf, 46:15)

Being a mother entails making never-ending sacrifices, beginning from getting pregnant till her life time. Spending sleepless nights, get hungry themselves while feeding the kids, teaching their young ones with patience and care, sacrificing their time bringing joy for their children, working day and night in keeping the family happy.

حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ بْنُ سَعِيدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا جَرِيرٌ، عَنْ عُمَارَةَ بْنِ الْقَعْقَاعِ بْنِ شُبْرُمَةَ، عَنْ أَبِي زُرْعَةَ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ قَالَ جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَنْ أَحَقُّ بِحُسْنِ صَحَابَتِي قَالَ ‏”‏ أُمُّكَ ‏”‏‏.‏ قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ قَالَ ‏”‏ أُمُّكَ ‏”‏‏.‏ قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ قَالَ ‏”‏ أُمُّكَ ‏”‏‏.‏ قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ قَالَ ‏”‏ ثُمَّ أَبُوكَ ‏”‏‏.‏ وَقَالَ ابْنُ شُبْرُمَةَ وَيَحْيَى بْنُ أَيُّوبَ حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو زُرْعَةَ مِثْلَهُ•‏

Narrated Abu Huraira:

A man came to Allah’s Messengerﷺ and said, “O Allah’s Messengerﷺ! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?” The Prophetﷺ said, “Your mother.” The man said. “Who is next?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man further said, “Who is next?” The Prophetﷺ said, “Your mother.” The man asked for the fourth time, “Who is next?” The Prophetﷺ said, “Your father. (Sahih al-Bukhari 5971)

حَدَّثَنَا سَعْدُ بْنُ حَفْصٍ، حَدَّثَنَا شَيْبَانُ، عَنْ مَنْصُورٍ، عَنِ الْمُسَيَّبِ، عَنْ وَرَّادٍ، عَنِ الْمُغِيرَةِ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ “‏ إِنَّ اللَّهَ حَرَّمَ عَلَيْكُمْ عُقُوقَ الأُمَّهَاتِ، وَمَنْعَ وَهَاتِ، وَوَأْدَ الْبَنَاتِ، وَكَرِهَ لَكُمْ قِيلَ وَقَالَ، وَكَثْرَةَ السُّؤَالِ، وَإِضَاعَةَ الْمَالِ ‏”‏‏

‏Narrated Al-Mughira:

The Prophetﷺ said, “Allah has forbidden you

1. To be undutiful to your mothers.
2. To withhold (what you should give).
3. Demand (what you do not deserve).
4. To bury your daughters alive. And Allah has disliked that.
   1. You talk too much about others.
   1. Ask too many questions (in religion).
   1. Waste your property.

(Sahih al-Bukhari 5975)

أَخْبَرَنَا عَبْدُ الْوَهَّابِ بْنُ عَبْدِ الْحَكَمِ الْوَرَّاقُ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا حَجَّاجٌ، عَنِ ابْنِ جُرَيْجٍ، قَالَ أَخْبَرَنِي مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ طَلْحَةَ، – وَهُوَ ابْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ – عَنْ أَبِيهِ، طَلْحَةَ عَنْ مُعَاوِيَةَ بْنِ جَاهِمَةَ السُّلَمِيِّ، أَنَّ جَاهِمَةَ، جَاءَ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَرَدْتُ أَنْ أَغْزُوَ وَقَدْ جِئْتُ أَسْتَشِيرُكَ ‏.‏ فَقَالَ ‏”‏ هَلْ لَكَ مِنْ أُمٍّ ‏”‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ نَعَمْ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏”‏ فَالْزَمْهَا فَإِنَّ الْجَنَّةَ تَحْتَ رِجْلَيْهَا ‏”‏

It was narrated from Mu’awiyah bin Jahimah As-Sulami, that, Jahimah came to the Prophet ﷺ and said:

“O Messenger of Allah! I want to go out and fight (in Jihad) and I have come to ask your advice.” He said: “Do you have a mother?” He said: “Yes.” He said: “Then stay with her, for Paradise is beneath her feet.” (Sunan an-Nasa’i: 3104, Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani).

Unfortunately, as we grow older, gain knowledge and become higher in society, we forget the sacrifices made by our parents. We forget the biggest part of Haqooq al-Ibaad is taking care of our parents specially our mother. We start questioning the decisions of our parents, thinking ourselves as the ultimate intelligent.

Let us reciprocate, show gratitude to the good things our parents have done, fulfill the commands of Allah being compassionate toward our parents, treat them kindly, and obey them exactly the same way, our parents used to treat us while we were kids. It will not only attain the contentment of Allah, but will also teach our kids, of how they have to take care of us, when we grow old.  

Photo by Kristina Paukshtite from Pexels